7-Year-Old is Smartest Child in History
Jake Farr-Wharton 12 comments
This morning, the world awoke to the case unfolding in the USA state of Utah, where a young boy aged just 7, believed to be the smartest child in history, stole a car to avoid church.
While the young child’s choice in car was somewhat questionable, the boy stole the keys to his father’s Dodge Intrepid from his father’s pocket and drove the car away from the church that his family was attending.
Reports say that the boy drove anywhere from 10 blocks to 45 miles at around 45 miles and hour to eventually arrive at his home in 70 miles north of Salt Lake City, Utah. Police, who had followed the boy for the final few miles, arrived at the boy’s house to find him running into the garage to hide.
A statement released by the boy exclaimed that “I really didn’t want to go to church”.
Due to the boy’s age, he will not be charged, however police did request that the father take greater care of his keys.
Indeed, the boy’s ability to get out of something he really didn’t want to do, coupled with the ingenuity which allowed him to escape the veritable boring hour in hell, marks him as the smartest child in history.
At only 7, the boy has plenty of time to practice and hone his escape skills. This will come in handy on the next Sunday diner when ‘the cheek pinchers’ Aunt ‘garlic stink’ May and Grandma ‘arm flaps’ Cathy come to visit; or on meatloaf night; and let us not forget the uncomfortable ‘birds and bees’ discussion once puberty descends.
Young man who escaped church, I salute you!
Source.
Jake Farr-Wharton
Friday 31st July 2009 | 10:49 AM...in response to this comment by Mario. He did a brilliant job, indeed!
Laiste
Friday 31st July 2009 | 11:23 AMHow did he reach the pedals and see where he was going?
Gong
Friday 31st July 2009 | 12:31 PM...in response to this comment by Laiste. he used science!
...in response to this comment by Gong. or maybe his dad is a midget.
Jake Farr-Wharton
Friday 31st July 2009 | 01:44 PM...in response to this comment by Laiste. I have it on good authority that he used psychokinesis to move the pedals, which coincidentally was why he was running from the chuch; they wanted to burn him at the stake for being a witch...
...in response to this comment by Jake Farr-Wharton. Lol. Though him being a boy I'd think the church would burn him for being a wizard.
Jim
Saturday 1st August 2009 | 06:53 PM...in response to this comment by Mario. That reminds me of a comic I read, Wigu (sorry, I don't know the URL offhand). Though being Utah, I think he may have escaped more than an hour or so of church. Some sects go for hours on Sundays, especially Pentecostals. I'm not sure, but I think Pentecostals and Mormons are very similar.
Jake Farr-Wharton
Monday 3rd August 2009 | 07:29 AM...in response to this comment by Jim. I don't blame him. While I spent several years as a very pious fundamentalist, getting on my knees for Jesus, but I hated church as a kid. I once punched myself in the face hard enough to get a blood nose so I could get out of church... it worked too.
Gong
Monday 3rd August 2009 | 09:25 AM...in response to this comment by Jake Farr-Wharton. i locked myself in my room, and it worked of course!!
and I still got to eat some pie later
PuRaNa
Sunday 25th April 2010 | 07:37 AMhaha that boy can drive but on the radio they said he crashed....
Henk V
Sunday 25th April 2010 | 08:08 AMWhen I was 6 I had to go to church groups called boys clubs from 5-30 to 7-30 on friday nights.
Dr Who was on during that period. I used to lie on the chairs under the table and they'd never find me. Had I known that stealing the church elder's keys was an option, I probably still wouldnt have done it..
NB, I could see the TV as mum liked Dr Who and all the times she looked for me she left it on.
Amasingly church wasnt so bad. By the time I hit the youth group phase, sunday night church was the time we all napped in public and the group leader on sunday mornings was a deist.
The only time I drove off was when I was twelve, makes me about the third of an IQ of example kid
Mario
Friday 31st July 2009 | 10:16 AMSaw this in the news. Good for him! And he knew how to drive that car pretty well.